I dedicate this post this to all the single parents out there, most especially to the single mothers. For days now, at this usual late night hour, I always shed a tear or so. I cannot exactly decipher as to whether they are tears of joy or tears of pain. But what I exactly know at this point is that, I cry because I am strong.
It's hard to become a single mother for you act 2 roles in your child's life. A caring mother, and a hardworking father. I was talking to God last night asking Him if I can shoulder everything. I can feel challenges left and right. I can feel the pain, the exhaustion, and the fear that I might fail, and it will hurt me the most to see my future didn't work. I felt as if the challenges are unlimited, they keep coming back for more. I AM AFRAID, HONESTLY.
And so I prayed this time, I felt peaceful, and light right after I cried and offer my wearies to the Lord. He somehow whispered to me to get my ipad and scan over my photos. As I swipe photos after photos, the tears started to roll again, my throat tighten and the cry baby in me, burst in to tears. That's when I realize that God wants me to be stronger, for the people on the photos are the reasons why I push myself, and my Marise is one of those. God wants to tell me to continue after crying, for I have surpassed many challenges already, and to give-up is never a solution. God wants me to see all those photos ( bazaar photos, family pictures, simone's closet, my journey photos) because He wants me to recall my deepest WHYs why I continue to live. He somehow wants to remind me that whenever pain, challenges, and exhaustion, makes me want to give-up, I have more reasons not to.
GOD IS REALLY GOOD. HIS TIMING IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
I am just grateful that God is always there with me. He gave me Marise so I can have Simone's Closet and my XTRM 1-11 family. If not for her I wouldn't be here where I am now.
I may be on my greatest battle in life to provide for my Marise, but I am so lucky because God entrusted me this big responsibility for He knows I am capable of doing so. Because He believes in me.
If in case you feel like giving up, let yourself cry, wipe away tears, and after a minute or so, stand up and remind yourself of your DEEPEST WHY, why you keep moving, and should keep moving. :)
PS: I enjoy the rainy weather with my Marise, but I am a sunny person, I miss the sunshine! I hope the skies will be clear anytime soon. I am planning a photoshoot for my Marise this weekend! :) how are you so far? :)